Are YOU a genius?

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Thomas Edison

Monday, August 28, 2017

Bike Ride to ....

What ???????   

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought two large bottles of wine and put it in the bicycle basket.


 
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottles would break.
 
So I drank all the wine before I cycled home.
 
It turned out to be a very good decision because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

Having a Bad Day? Really? Read this!!!

True??? I don't know how you could make this stuff up.
They make for a good read either way!
True or not, they bring a smile. 

Thinyou are havinbad day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both!


Stilthink yoarhavina bad day?


A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.


STILthink you'rhavina bad day?


Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hapless protesters were trampled to death.

STILthink you'rhavina bad day?

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. 

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific -- the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. but keep reading....

STILL havinbad day??

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.


Wha?! Stilthink you'rhavina bad day?
Jusremembericoulbe worse.

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled petrol with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance, they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, the stretcher dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.

Ther-- feeling better now?

09.13: A Sinai Funny

Mikey's Funnies is generously hosted by Agathon Group, website development and hosting with a ministry heart:
http://www.agathongroup.com/
today'sFUNNY===========================

Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.
Looking up, he asks the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A minute."
Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replies, "A penny."
Smith asks, "Lord, can I have a penny?"
The Lord replies, "In a minute."
givingCREDIT===========================
Friday's Wreck Funny is apparently from comedian Tim Vine. And the Thot is attributed to Phyllis Diller.
today'sTHOT============================
How many mimes have died because no one believed they were choking?
























09.14: A Skydiving Funny

Mikey's Funnies is generously hosted by Agathon Group, website development and hosting with a ministry heart:
http://www.agathongroup.com/
today'sFUNNY===========================

A man is skydiving, enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute. So he pulls on the rip cord, but nothing happens.
"No problem," he says to himself, "I still have my emergency chute." So he pulls the rip cord on his emergency parachute, and once again, nothing happens. Now the man begins to panic.
"What am I going to do?" he thinks, "I'm a goner..."
Just then he sees a man flying up from the earth toward him. He can't figure out where this man is coming from, or what he's doing, but he thinks to himself, "Maybe he can help me. If he can't, then I'm done for."
When the man gets close enough to him, the skydiver cups his hands and shouts down, "Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?"
The other man replies, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
[forwarded by Carol Calvert]
today'sTHOT============================
It's better to tell your money where to go than to ask where it went.

09.15: A Dryer Funny

Mikey's Funnies is generously hosted by Agathon Group, website development and hosting with a ministry heart:
http://www.agathongroup.com/
today'sFUNNY===========================

My pastor friend put sanitary, hot-air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks, took them out.
I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine, but when he went in there he saw a scribbled sign that read, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button."
[forwarded by JR Whitby]
today'sTHOT============================
Experience is that thing you have just after you need it.
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Monday, May 29, 2017

09.16: A Disagree Funny

Mikey's Funnies is generously hosted by Agathon Group, website development and hosting with a ministry heart:
http://www.agathongroup.com/
today'sFUNNY====

Sal: "You get along so well with just everybody - how do you do it?"
Nat: "It's easy: I never disagree with anyone, no matter what."
Sal: "Oh, that's impossible!"
Nat: "You're absolutely right."
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
today'sTHOT=====
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.
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Seniors it Can Happen to YOU!

Have you ever felt like this, seniors? :)

A Time to CELEBRATE !!! Canada! The U.S.!

Am I An American?

Robin Williams - The Flag

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to ........

Funny Stuff

More Funny Videos

Seniors and Technology: The Force is With YOU!-tube

Humor-Therapy Looks Good

Where is Your Life Going?

Dumb Criminals Busted!

The California Drug Bust!

See What Texting Can Do For YOU?

Jackie Mason Politics for Geezers & WayBacks!

PowerPoint Comedy - PhD

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

PowerPoint Comedy 1

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Some Funny Videos - Like PowerPoint?

Have you ever seen a PowerPoint presentation that was SOOO GOOD, you couldn't take your eyes from it?

On the other hand, have you ever seen one which you couldn't get your eyes open again?

Check some of these out. And if you need help with YOUR POWERPOINT, checkout my PowerPoint Presentations Blog.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this one! Apparently it was done for an English class. I think an A+ would be in order!

The Ballad of PowerPoint [LIKE IT FULL SCREEN?]





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