Are YOU a genius?

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Thomas Edison

Sunday, June 27, 2010

SMILE OF THE WEEK

(contributions for this section are most welcome)
=: Chicken Man :=
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was and I said "Fried chicken".
She said I wasn't funny. But she couldn't have been right -- everyone else in the class laughed.
My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Specially chicken -- and pork and beef and fish too.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken.
She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.
She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
I told her "Colonel Sanders".
Guess where I am now...
[from Mikey's Funnies -- www.mikeysfunnies.com]

Thursday, June 10, 2010

A Child's "Commercial" Idea of God

A fifth grade teacher in a Christian school asked her class to look at TV commercials and see if they could use them in some way to communicate ideas about God. 

Here are some of the results: scroll down.




God is like.
 
BAYER ASPIRIN
 
He works miracles. 




God is like.
 
a FORD

He's got a better idea.


God is like.
 
COKE
 
He's the real thing.
 


(This is great)

God is like.
 
HALLMARK CARDS
 
He cares enough to send His very best.
 

God is like.
 
TIDE
 
He gets the stains out that others leave behind.
 


God is like.
 
GENERAL ELECTRIC

He brings good things to life.
 

God is like.
 
SEARS

He has everything.


God is like.
 
ALKA-SELTZER
Try Him, you'll like Him


God is like.
 
SCOTCH TAPE
 
You can't see Him, but you know He's there.
 


God is like.

DELTA
He's ready when you are.
 

God is like.
 
ALLSTATE
You're in good hands with Him.
 


God is like.

VO-5 Hair Spray
 
He holds through all kinds of weather.
 


God is like.
 
DIAL SOAP

Aren't you glad you have Him? Don't you wish everybody did?
 

(that one is my favourite)
God is like. 
the U.S. POST OFFICE
Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet nor ice will keep Him from His appointed destination.
God is like. 
Chevrolet. . . .the heart beat of America
God is like 
Maxwell House. . .
Good to the very last drop

God is like.
 
B
ounty. . . . 
He is the quicker picker upper. . can handle the tough jobs. . .and He won't fall apart on you
 

NOTE! 


HE'S also like coffee!


Gets you going in the morning and KEEPS you awake!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Seniors' Moments Made ALIVE!

92-Year-Old Preacher.

While watching a little TV on Sunday instead of going to church, I watched a church in Atlanta honoring one of its senior pastors who had been retired many years. He was 92 at that time and I wondered why the church even bothered to ask the old gentleman to preach at that age.

After a warm welcome, introduction of this speaker, and as the applause quieted down, he rose from his high back chair and walked slowly, with great effort and a sliding gait to the podium. Without a note or written paper of any kind he placed both hands on the pulpit to steady himself and then quietly and slowly he began to speak....

"When I was asked to come here today and talk to you, your pastor asked me to tell you what was the greatest lesson ever learned in my 50-odd years of preaching. I thought about it for a few days and boiled it down to just one thing that made the most difference in my life and sustained me through all my trials. The one thing that I could always rely on when tears and heartbreak and pain and fear and sorrow paralyzed me.... The only thing that would comfort was this verse........ ......


"Jesus loves me this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to Him belong,
We are weak but He is strong......
Yes, Jesus loves me......
The Bible tells me so."

When he finished, the church was quiet. You actually could hear his foot steps as he shuffled back to his chair. I don't believe I will ever forget it.

A pastor once stated, "I always noticed that it was the adults who chose the children's hymn 'Jesus Loves Me' (for the children of course) during a hymn sing, and it was the adults who sang the loudest because I could see they knew it the best."

This is the best part- - - -

JESUS LOVES ME
[senior version]

Jesus loves me, this I know,
Though my hair is white as snow
Though my sight is growing dim,
Still He bids me trust in Him.
(CHORUS)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME.. YES, JESUS LOVES ME..
YES, JESUS LOVES ME, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.

Though my steps are oh, so slow,
With my hand in His I'll go
On through life, let come what may,
He'll be there to lead the way.
(CHORUS)

YES, JESUS LOVES ME.. YES, JESUS LOVES ME..
YES, JESUS LOVES ME, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.


When the nights are dark and long,
In my heart He puts a song..
Telling me in words so clear,
"Have no fear, for I am near."
(CHORUS)

YES, JESUS LOVES ME.. YES, JESUS LOVES ME..
YES, JESUS LOVES ME, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.


When my work on earth is done,
And life's victories have been won.
He will take me home above,
Then I'll understand His love.
(CHORUS)

YES, JESUS LOVES ME.. YES, JESUS LOVES ME..
YES, JESUS LOVES ME, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.


I love Jesus, does He know?
Have I ever told Him so?
Jesus loves to hear me say,
That I love Him every day.
(CHORUS)

YES, JESUS LOVES ME.. YES, JESUS LOVES ME..
YES, JESUS LOVES ME, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.

A Time to CELEBRATE !!! Canada! The U.S.!

Am I An American?

Robin Williams - The Flag

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to ........

Funny Stuff

More Funny Videos

Seniors and Technology: The Force is With YOU!-tube

Humor-Therapy Looks Good

Where is Your Life Going?

Dumb Criminals Busted!

The California Drug Bust!

See What Texting Can Do For YOU?

Jackie Mason Politics for Geezers & WayBacks!

PowerPoint Comedy 1

PowerPoint Comedy - PhD

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

VideoBar

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Some Funny Videos - Like PowerPoint?

Have you ever seen a PowerPoint presentation that was SOOO GOOD, you couldn't take your eyes from it?

On the other hand, have you ever seen one which you couldn't get your eyes open again?

Check some of these out. And if you need help with YOUR POWERPOINT, checkout my PowerPoint Presentations Blog.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this one! Apparently it was done for an English class. I think an A+ would be in order!

The Ballad of PowerPoint [LIKE IT FULL SCREEN?]





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