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Friday, March 19, 2010

Smile of the Week

SMILE OF THE WEEK

(contributions for this section are most welcome)

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country...

* Lost: Small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

* A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

* Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

* For Sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

* Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

* Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

* Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

* Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

* We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

* For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.

* Great Dames for sale.

* Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

* Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

* Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

* Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

* Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

* Stock up and save. Limit: one.

* We build bodies that last a lifetime.

* For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

* Man, honest. Will take anything.

* Wanted: Chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

* Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

[author unknown]

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