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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Thomas Edison

Editor: Charles from Niagara, 20 minutes to the thunder of Niagara

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Friday, November 16, 2007

Fwd: Fw: Lord's Prayer

THE Lord's PRAYER - Revisited

Rather cleverly done. This is in two parts, the prayer

( in blue type) and GOD (in red type) in response.

It is very, very good.

*********

Our Father Who Art In Heaven.
Yes?
Don't interrupt me. I'm praying.
But -- you called ME!
Called you?
No, I didn't call you.
I'm praying.
Our Father who art in Heaven.
There -- you did it again!

Did what?
Called ME.
You said,
"Our Father who art in Heaven"
Well, here I am.
What's on your mind?
But I didn't mean anything by it.
I was, you know, just saying my prayers for the day.
I always say the Lord's Prayer.
It makes me feel good,
kind of like fulfilling a duty.
Well, all right.
Go on.
Okay, Hallowed be thy name .
Hold it right there.
What do you mean by that?
By what?
By "Hallowed be thy name"?
It means, it means . . good grief,
I don't know what it means.
How in the world should I know?
It's just a part of the prayer.
By the way, what does it mean?
It means honored, holy, wonderful.
Hey, that makes sense.
I never thought about what 'hallowed' meant before.
Thanks.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in Heaven.
Do you really mean that?
Sure, why not?
What are you doing about it?
Doing? Why, nothing, I guess.

I just think it would be kind of neat if you got

control, of everything down here like you have up

there. We're kinda in a mess down here you know.
Yes, I know;
but, have I got control of you?
Well, I go to church.
That isn't what I asked you.
What about your bad temper?
You've really got a problem there, you know.
And then there's the way you spend your money --
all on yourself.
And what about the kind of books you read?
Now hold on just a minute!
Stop picking on me!
I'm just as good as some of the rest of those

People at church!

Excuse ME.
I thought you were praying
for my will to be done.
If that is to happen,
it will have to start with the ones
who are praying for it.
Like you -- for example ..
Oh, all right. I guess I do have some hang-ups.
Now that you mention it,
I could probably name some others.
So could I.
I haven't thought about it very much until now,
but I really would like to cut out some of those things.
I would like to, you know, be really free.
Good.
Now we're getting somewhere. We'll work together -- You and ME.
I'm proud of You.
Look, Lord, if you don't mind,
I need to finish up here.
This is taking a lot longer than it usually does.
Give us this day, our daily bread.
You need to cut out the bread.
You're overweight as it is.
Hey, wait a minute! What is this?
Here I was doing my religious duty,
and all of a sudden you break in
and remind me of all my hang-ups.
Praying is a dangerous thing.
You just might get what you ask for.
Remember,
you called ME -- and here I am.
It's too late to stop now.
Keep praying. ( . pause . . )
Well, go on.
I'm scared to.
Scared? Of what?
I know what you'll say.
Try ME.
Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us .
What about Ann?
See? I knew it!
I knew you would bring her up!
Why, Lord, she's told lies about me, spread stories.
She never paid back the money she owes me.
I've sworn to get even with her!
But -- your prayer --
What about your prayer?
I didn't -- mean it.

Well, at least you're honest.
But, it's quite a load carrying around all that bitterness
and resentment isn't it?
Yes, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even with her.
Boy, have I got some plans for her.
She'll wish she had never been born.
No, you won't feel any better.
You'll feel worse.
Revenge isn't sweet.
You know how unhappy you are --
Well, I can change that.
You can? How?
Forgive Ann.
Then, I'll forgive you;
And the hate and the sin,
will be Ann's problem -- not yours.
You will have settled the problem
as far as you are concerned.
Oh, you know, you're right.
You always are.
And more than I want revenge,
I want to be right with You . . (sigh).
All right all right . .
I forgive her.
There now!
Wonderful!
How do you feel?
Hmmmm. Well, not bad.
Not bad at all!
In fact, I feel pretty great!
You know, I don't think I'll go to bed uptight tonight.
I haven't been getting much rest, you know.
Yeah, I know.
But, you're not through with your prayer are you? Go on.
Oh, all right.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Good! Good! I'll do that.
Just don't put yourself in a place
where you can be tempted.
What do you mean by that?
You know what I mean.
Yeah. I know.
Okay.
Go ahead. Finish your prayer.
For Thine is the kingdom,
and the power,
and the glory forever.
Amen.
Do you know what would bring me glory --
What would really make me happy?
No, but I'd like to know.
I want to please you now.
I've really made a mess of things.
I want to truly follow you.
I can see now how great that would be.
So, tell me . .
How do I make you happy?
YOU just did.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

SMILES FOR THE WEEK

SMILE OF THE WEEK

(contributions for this section are most welcome)

Ponder this...

Are snakes afraid of other snakes?

If you overdosed on decongestant tablets, would you turn into a pile of dust?

Why don't ceramic cats come complete with synthetic hairballs?

At an 'all-you-can-eat' restaurant, is there a penalty for eating less than you can?

Why is it that most irons have a setting for 'permanent press' garments?

Do hermits ever suffer from peer pressure?

Why is it a 'garage door opener', since it opens and closes the door?

If space & time are the same as Einstein said, can you be five miles late?

Could you be arrested for selling 'illegal-sized' paper?

If you wear your heart on your sleeve, where do you display other bodily parts?

And how come there's never a garage actually for sale at all those garage sales?

How would you ever know if a word was mis-spelled in the dictionary?

If we know the speed of light, why hasn't anyone calculated the speed of dark?

How come birds aren't tickled by feathers?

If only the good die young then what does that say about senior citizens?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

[author unknown]

A Time to CELEBRATE !!! Canada! The U.S.!

Am I An American?

Robin Williams - The Flag

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to ........

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Seniors and Technology: The Force is With YOU!-tube

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Dumb Criminals Busted!

The California Drug Bust!

See What Texting Can Do For YOU?

Jackie Mason Politics for Geezers & WayBacks!

PowerPoint Comedy 1

PowerPoint Comedy - PhD

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

Technology Geezers Can Understand. Get out that MAGNIFYING GLASS. This is as big as I could get it.

How Not To Use PowerPoint

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Some Funny Videos - Like PowerPoint?

Have you ever seen a PowerPoint presentation that was SOOO GOOD, you couldn't take your eyes from it?

On the other hand, have you ever seen one which you couldn't get your eyes open again?

Check some of these out. And if you need help with YOUR POWERPOINT, checkout my PowerPoint Presentations Blog.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this one! Apparently it was done for an English class. I think an A+ would be in order!

The Ballad of PowerPoint [LIKE IT FULL SCREEN?]





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